Freeasthewind

My brother wrote this. Much I consider clap trap. And a whiner. To me it reads like a poor poor me. Now this is from a kid talking about imagination. I won't go on because the truth is his wife is a joke but anyway what do you think of this (so called) story

THE MANY FACES OF ME

Chapter one

The Introduction

I was a shadow on the wall a passing thought not grasp or realized. I was undesired not worthy of recognition. Therefore, I retreated into my mind to a place where I was free to be me. I was the hero the champion the protector of innocents. My friends were dragons, spies, kings, cowboys, Aliens and who or whatever my imagination came up with which of course was unlimited. When I went into my mind, I wasn’t the skinny asthmatic four-eyed uncoordinated kid everyone made fun of and laughed at. Hell, I don’t know how many times I saved the world from distruction. I wasn’t always in human form and I wasn’t always me. I might be Jay Daniels ghost hunter or Eric Storm private eye. I could also be Chase Mckay one of the Mckay triplets Ace Race and Chase the Adventurers. In addition, there was Chance Donavan time traveler. Whether I was on the front porch in the basement or in the woods by myself I was never alone. No one in my family knew I liked to read or even if I knew how. Dad didn’t know I knew how to play guitar until a few years before he died. They didn’t know I used to write stories of my friends and our adventures. I never gave out information and nobody thought of me as important to ask. In my parents reality I was the live action version of Charlie Brown. In my reality I was the live action version of Johnny Quest. Even when I hung out with my so called friends in our nieghborhood I knew my place. I was the Charlie Brown the nerdish kid they kept around for laughs.

The many faces of me cont.
Unfortunitly I don't know who the true me is. As you can tell by my blogs I have many faces. Where as I am all of them in one way or another I still can't find all of me in one. I took a test on Yardy's blog and this is what it said. "You scored as Shadow Spirit
You are a very strange being. Like nothing anyone has ever seen. You are a Shadow Spirit. You weren't born this way. This happened because you were betrayed so many times in life you just gave up. Don't forget; there are people out there who are just like you...you just have to find them first." Okay I'll buy that it seems like that's the way things went in my life anyway. I always felt like a shadow a non person. I was there but never seen I talked but never heard. I was a shadow a spirit noticed only as a glimpse. I so wanted to fit in I did what my so called friends did. Drinking and smoking was the norm. As well as drugs and other things which I am not proud of. But I didn't care for it much oh I did it but not like my so called friends did. I was able to do just enoungh so my friends thought I was like them. I was able to quit drinking and the drug use to where I could sober up or come down from a high pretty quick. And my so called friends would be so drunk or high they wouldn't know the difference. When I finally broke ties with my so called friends and was back on my own thats when things got hairy. This is where the real world and my reality became so blurred I couldn't tell which was which. I retreated into myself that I only went through the motions of living in the real world. I survived the real world by living in my world. No one could hurt me because I was never there to be hurt. They could say things about me call me names tell me I'll never amount to anything. And it didn't matter because I already did amount to something in my world and that was all that matter to me. So who am I? well I'm all the people I've talked about and none in particular. Maybe I am a Shadow Spirit as I write more maybe we'll all find out who I am really.
was in a pit I was spiraling down and no one would or could help. My family and so-called friends didn't see nothing wrong mainly because they didn't see me. My world friends couldn't help because being part of me they also had demons to fight I was going down till one day I felt a hand on the scruff of my neck. This hand pulled me out of that pit and set me on solid ground. It was Marsha she showed me love and a strong hand when I needed them both. I put her through hell the first few years of our marriage hell even during our dating for that matter. She always stood by me giving me unconditional love. And when I needed it a strong hand. Her mom and dad were there for me too. Something I never had before either. George and Betty became the mother and father I never had growing up. They loved me they tolerated me and if I needed help they were there for me. Like I said I put Marsha through hell but she stuck with me. Most people would and did just leave me. Set me adrift and let me sink. We've been married for thirty two years and there hasn't been a day she hasn't been there for me. Oh she gave me ultimatums like get a job and keep it or go leave in the street. And to make up my mind its either stop drinking and playing with maryjane or its her. I chose to keep her and I gave up drinking and cigarette smoking and dupe. I did this all the same day cold turkey and for about two months I was a bear to live with but she did and helped me through it. Marsha didn't mind my other world as long as it didn't interfere with the real world of paying bills taking care of our family because like she said I'm not doing this alone. You helped bring them in to this world by god your going to stay here and help me me raise them in it . Having George and Betty around to give me advice and to show me the right way to do things. Oh they weren't prefect and they would be the first to tell you that. They made plenty of mistakes. But as George said to me once "I'm here to make sure you don't make the same ones I made. You can make new ones and you will but rest assured I'll be here to help you with those too." He never broke that promise except when he died but being he had no choose about that you can't blame the guy for that one. I still feel like Charlie Brown even though I love my wife I love being married to her.Being her husband lover friend. I love my two kids I love being their father. I love all five of my grand kids. I love being their grandpa. But I still don't know who I am. There is still something missing and I just can't seem to put my finger on it. Which is why I still go to my world and write stories. And come here to 360 too I think to help find out. Maybe I'll find the answer someday or maybe not. But I know I'll keep looking I have to it's me.

I was just thinking about how I always say I hate people but love my animals. But, that can't be true since I know so many people and have quite a few friends and 3or 4 reall close friends. But, it got me to thinking of people that claim they don't have or can't make friends. And I wondered how that can be. Now there is the big barrior of being really shy and that is hard to overcome but it can be done because I did it. People that know me now would never believe I was so shy and the truth is I still am but I am able to hide it better now. ( I know Dan) Anyway,I think it comes down to people think that friends should be a carbon copy of themselves. For example a friend should like exactly what they like and dislike the same thing. The friend should have the same exact personality as they have thier seleves. The same religious beliefs the same skin color etc ( you know where I am going with this). Then I got to thinking how I met some of my friends. A good example is a friend Connie in oklahoma when we met we had started working at APEX JC Penny's plan plus and where in training together. Now I was staying across from a 25year friend(another long story ending sadly) anyway when I first saw her I wasn't sure we were the same. She was tiny and dressed sort of in a vintage fashion which she pulled off. But we started talking on breaks now we were different she had been bulimonic at one time and still had issues with eating anything that had fat in it. She had lost her financee to a wreck. And I was trying to get away from my family. If you looked at us we were really different but we also loved cats and ducks and a lot of things. We finally even moved in the same apartment complex. She is gone now her poor body gave out. But, what I am trying to say if I would have just been looking some one just like me with a life just like mine I would have missed her. Friends donot need to be just like us in fact it is better if they are not. Other wise we would miss a lot. You learn alot from others lives and they maybe able to reach out to you were someone just like you won't have a clue as they will judge you just like you would do them. I have gay friends I have friends of all religious beliefs . I have fat, thin, in between friends. Some professional some that don't work at all . I guess what I am saying please don;t cut someone off because you think they are not like you. Imbrace that difference they could be the best friend you ever had. Because, I have so many friends and the really close friends have walked with me through some very hard times.

Alright I am off my soap box. It is not the cover but the heart that counts

Have a great sunny day the freeasthewind poet LOL

To the world you might be one person,
" but to one person you just might be the world".

If you sometimes get the urge to run around naked......drink some Windex. It will keep you from streaking.

Spring Classes for Men at

THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, Mar. 12, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

If you didnt know what breed he was what would you think he was. Cant tell what he really is or I wont get my townhouse

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries withgreat pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader tothe dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill... followed by.....

Churchill's response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." -- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any addresson it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- OscarWildeLady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"

Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."-- Ronald Reagan

Makes you think twice about partying dont it

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians (i.e., those, such as myself, who are from "God's country") will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as "APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS."
And furthermore:
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF
THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED
COMPANION."
5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
"RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's
"REAR CLEAVAGE."

1975: Long hair

2005: Longing for hair

1975: KEG

2005: EKG

1975: Acid rock

2005: Acid reflux

1975: Moving to California because it's cool

2005: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1975: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1975: Seeds and stems

2005: Roughage

1975: Going to a new, hip joint

2005: Receiving a new hip joint

1975: Rolling Stones

2005: Kidney Stones

1975: Being called into the principal's office

2005: Calling the principal's office

1975: Screw the system

2005: Upgrade the system

1975: Disco

2005: Costco

1975: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1975: Passing the drivers' test

2005: Passing the vision test

1975: Whatever

2005: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things..

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.

They are too young to remember the first space shuttle blowing up on liftoff.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? . Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading...

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

The Gold Screw

Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it.

All the years of growing up was real tough on him because all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house and thus, never made any friends.

One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a Swami in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal .

After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. He was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day, when he awoke, the screw would have been removed.

The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window, bearing in its mist a golden screwdriver. In just moments, the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.

The next morning when the boy awoke, he saw the golden screw lying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there!

Jubilant, he leaped out of bed, and his butt fell off.

The moral of this story is:
Don't screw around with things you don't understand -- you could lose your ass

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary" Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself." "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?" "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!" So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of nonstop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?" "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

Tax truth

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

Put these words
upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom..."

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax) Liquor Tax Luxury Taxes Marriage License Tax Medicare Tax Personal Property Tax Property Tax Real Estate Tax Service Charge Tax Social Security Tax Road Usage Tax Sales Tax Recreational Vehicle Tax School Tax State Income Tax State Unemployment Tax (SUTA) Telephone Federal Excise Tax Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax Telephone State and Local Tax Telephone Usage Charge Tax Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Watercraft Registration Tax Well Permit Tax Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What the hell happened? Can you spell "politicians!"

And I still have to "press 1"
for English.

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times

Hope you all had a good weekend. The starting of the week is sunny and a little chilly. Talk to ya all later

Morgan and coke. Salute