Something to start the weekend with
I have a couple of dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart last night and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I couldn't resist being a
smartass so on impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital
last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified,
she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because of the
dog food. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street
licking myself and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack as he
staggered out the door laughing loudly.
