Freeasthewind

Well, it is friday and I am looking forward to a good weekend. Hopefully I will find a vehicle so I will be mobile and not begging for rides. Yikes ! It is getting late and have to finish getting ready for another long day at work. So Have a Good friday everyone

If the ad claims... It really means...

rough condition... too bad to lie about
parts car... beyond repair
immaculate... recently washed
concours... recently waxed
engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul... needs engine
needs major overhaul... Phone the junkyard
burns no oil... (it all leaks out)
rebuilt engine... Cleaned the spark plugs.
Drive it away... I live on a hill.
Drive it anywhere... (within 10 miles)
desirable classic... No one wants it.
rare classic... No one wanted it even when it was new.
stored 20 years... (in a farmer's field)
ran when stored... Won't start.
never apart... Bolts too rounded to loosen.
solid as a rock... rusted solid
restored, with 0 miles... Won't start.
restored, with 2 miles... Won't stay running.
older restoration... First owner washed it.
good investment... Can't be worth much less.
no time to restore it... Can't obtain parts.
95% complete... Other 5% doesn't exist.
Other interests conflict... Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"
Doesn't smoke... when it's out of oil.
New slick racing tires... I burned the tread down to the belts.
Re-upholstered... New K-mart seat covers and floor mats.
Major preformance upgrades... Bolted a new exhaust tip on the tailpipe.
Kept in garage... The scratches are from my cat.
Pampered/adult driven... I'm 17 and I think it's about to die.
Complete restoration... New Earl Scheib paint.
New paint... Don't let it get wet.
Sporty... It's got a floor shifter.
Family car... There's still food under the seats.
Good school/work car... More dents than a golf ball.
Worth $xxx--sacrifice for $xx... I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself.
Lots of extras... Everything that fell off/out is in the trunk.
Quiet engine... You can't hear it over the broken headers.
Traction control... Starts moving only in 2nd gear.
Race modified... It's got Japanese stickers on the back window.
Exotic... It leaves a funny taste in your mouth.
Precision machined... I used a degreaser.
FAST... -ER than my mom's Geo.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Today is Feb 14th hard to believe time is flying so fast. As friend has kindly pointed out to should be friends day not valentines day. I watched people getting flowers and candy at work and the ones not receiving anything having a sad look on thier face. How said that a day that is suppose to represent love and kindiness can bring about these sad faces. No I didn't get anything this year but it really didnt bother me. but, a lot of the younger ones i work with did get up set.
So I hope you all found friends day to be a truely happy day.